


of that left unsaid

by vogelbiene



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Heavy Angst, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Canon, Written Letters, absolute disasters, heavy use of the word love, keith & krolia bonding, mentions of allurance, mentions of keith's dad, quantum abyss, relying on theories here, set after s6 & s7, somewhat canon compliant anyway, they really do love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 12:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15774570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogelbiene/pseuds/vogelbiene
Summary: Keith sighed then, defensive and tense shoulders dropping. There must be nothing more to hide. “I don't know why I started writing to him.”Krolia smiled to herself, placing a gentle hand on Keith's shoulder. “Sometimes you don't need to know; your heart just tells you.”In an attempt to express his feelings, Keith writes Lance letters whilst in the quantum abyss.





	of that left unsaid

_day five, quantum abyss_

lance,

 

I'm not quite sure why I started to write this. I guess maybe it’s because I saw you in the flashes of my future.

I’m going to be honest, I never thought I'd see you in my future, yet there you were. It was short, and I couldn't get too much out of it, except we were in a bright place with lots of colours and you called me ‘the future’ or something.

I’m confused, how could I be the future? why would you think that?

 

_keith_

 

\---

 

_day seven, quantum abyss_

lance,

 

you were there again. this time I saw you with your family. at least you know they're okay and everyone still loves you. you always were so worried about them, so I'm glad you'll get closure.

that reminds me, krolia (my mother) has been talking about pop (my father) lately. the way they met was funny kinda, and krolia gave him hell apparently. ~~kinda reminds me of me and you~~

it's weird having her with me now. for so long I wanted to know what having a parent was like and now it's so foreign. I don't know what to do. she's nice and looks after me and is protective but things are tense. we don't really know how to talk to one another. I bet you don't have that issue with your mum.

also I have a dog now, he doesn't have a name yet. he can tell me when he's ready. I wonder if you like dogs too.

 

_keith_

 

\---

 

_day eleven, quantum abyss_

lance,

 

today I cried. I hate crying. it makes me feel so weak and vulnerable and it's so stupid.

I saw another flashback of me, but it was when pop died. he was burnt alive in our house trying to save something, even though everyone told him not to. it still hurts. I miss him.

I miss a lot of people right now. pop, shiro, adam, pidge, hunk, allura, coran and you. ~~especially you~~

at least I've learnt a lot about myself and who I am and where I actually came from. there's still a lot I don't know but I feel better about it all now. when I get back I'll tell you all about it. if you still want to talk to me.

 

_keith_

 

\---

 

_day twenty, quantum abyss_

to lance,

 

I haven't had many future flashes lately, but I've been dreaming a lot. I wake up after them and my heart hurts for some reason. a lot of the dreams are about you guys. I think it’s to do with the fact I miss being around you all so much.

I didn't even talk to you all when I was with the blade that much and I feel terrible about it. for all you know I could be dead. I don't want you worrying. ~~I dont think you do but still~~

there's a lot I need to say to you all. I hate leaving things unsaid. but in the end I guess it was my decision, my fault. maybe one day I'll get to tell you all what I wanted to say.

my wolf keeps nudging me with his nose whenever I'm sad. he really likes me I think, he's grown a lot. I think you would like him.

krolia wasn't too happy with him at first because he chewed up the sticks she needed for our shelter, but I think she is okay with him now.

I wonder if he gets flashbacks with the quintessence too.

 

_from keith_

 

\---

 

_day twenty three, quantum abyss_

to lance

 

did I ever write about the very first future vision I had?

it was shiro. he was different and his eyes glowed purple. he said “hello keith” but not in his normal voice - almost like he wasn't shiro. I can't stop thinking about it. he seemed evil. it keeps me up at night, wondering if shiro is actually the shiro I knew. he practically raised me, you know. he got me into the garrison. I gave him hell in the first few days though, remember when I was in the simulator and got us all in trouble? and then I punched james? ~~thats his name right~~ shiro was the only one who stood up for me. he supported me no matter what. he's my older brother and i love him. its weird because I've never ever said that before. I think he gets it though. it’s hard for me to express my feelings and it’s frustrating.

so I'm scared I'll lose him and that he'll abandon me. he is the closest thing to family I had and thought krolia is still my mum, she doesn't feel like it yet.

I don't know. maybe I'm just over thinking it. shiro would never hurt me. he would never hurt anyone unless it's for a good reason.

sometimes I think back to the first time we did those team bonding exercises and when we all saw your family. it’s so big, and I bet they all love you. I was jealous at first, but now I'm glad you still have people who love you. I don't ever want you to go through loneliness.

sometimes I wonder what love actually is. why ~~you~~ people are so hung up about it. love between family is the only love that matters, and even then it's hard to describe what love is.

I'm sure you would know.

 

_from keith_

 

\---

 

_day thirty, quantum abyss_

lance,

 

I had a future flash again. you were hugging allura. I don't know why it made my heart squeeze and ache, but it did. maybe it's because I want to be hugged too.

krolia hasn't hugged me once. it's weird because she isn't too affectionate. maybe it's just a galra thing.

pop used to hug me all the time. I love hugs but am too afraid to ask for them. do you feel that way too?

space wolf teleports now. he likes to land on my lap and stop me from moving and randomly jumps on me after teleporting. he makes me fall, he's so big now. he's very affectionate.

he hasn't told me his name yet, but I'm sure he will one day. he has a right to choose it, after all. krolia suggested yorak (that's what she wanted to call me) but it sounds weird. maybe he'll just be wolf forever.

 

_from keith_

 

\---

 

_day thirty, quantum abyss_

~~dear~~ to lance,

 

I've done lots of thinking lately. I've figured out a lot of things that normally would have scared me before but… I think I'm okay with it now. I think you would be proud. you really helped me become confident even if you didn't mean to.

I never really thanked you for helping me when shiro left - you deserved that. you really were my right hand man. I took it for granted. we were so close, will we be like that when I get back?

it's weird… I never really wanted friends, especially friends who used to tease me a lot. I know you never meant it. I never meant what I said. I was just confused.

I still don't know what I did that made you hate me, it still kind of stings because it makes me think that you never really thought of me as a friend anyway, even before I left.

you know a lot of the reason why I left was because of you. you seemed so upset about not being a part of the team. (not that I would have kicked you out of red anyway. red loves you.) I never liked seeing you upset, you were always the upbeat one. that day you came to me and confided in me, it was special, because I thought we genuinely were becoming good friends. that's all I wanted. I guess sometimes we don't always get what we want.

so yeah. sorry I left like that, I just wanted you to be happy.

 

_from keith_

 

\---

 

_day thirty five, quantum abyss_

lance,

 

I saw another vision. it was of shiro again. he looked dead though, in one of those altean pods. he had white hair. it scared me. I told krolia about it and she tried to comfort me but it still felt awkward. I don't want shiro to die. I don't want any of you to die.

krolia also found out that pop died today. she cried a lot but hid herself away from me. can't say I really blame her, crying in front of people isn't nice at all. even people you love. she did say she loves me, way before we settled on the space whale, but it doesn't feel like it. or maybe it does. I don't know, I guess it’s because I've never had a mother and I only went off what the tv showed me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. I don't know why. platonic love is all I've known and the idea of actually loving another person that isn't family is daunting. but… i think

~~maybe i~~

~~sometimes it feels~~

~~you~~

maybe one day it will be clear. krolia said she believes in soul mates, said her and pop were two of the same heart. I have no clue what that is supposed to mean but it sounded romantic. you probably would have liked it.

 

wolfie has been good, by the way. he keeps growing though and is getting bigger by the day. sometimes I think he'll be taller than me. maybe the size of a horse? I'd ride him into battle if that were the case. no need to fly a giant lion.

(that was a joke by the way.)

 

_from keith_

 

\---

 

It took two months for Krolia to question what her son was doing with the whittled twig she made as a makeshift pen and the fabric-like bark found on the trees.

Often, when Keith had thought Krolia had fallen asleep, or when he went out hunting (with Krolia silently hot on his heels) Keith would write. The ink was a blotchy purple, made from the berries of a blue-tinted bush, mixed with the muddy dirt found on the ground. Krolia had made the instruments so that she could count the days, make maps of the creature the resided on, and to recall which flora and fauna were safe to eat.

Instead, Keith used it all to write. It was as though he were writing a diary, Krolia mused one night, one eye opened as she lay still on the ground. Her son was busy scribbling away, brows pulled taut in a frown and knuckles white with withheld emotions.

If only she knew what he was writing.

 

\---

 

_(Krolia finds a letter one day, left in the dirt near the stream that they frequent for bathing._

_The letter is crumpled, majority of the words scribbled over angrily. There is evidence of tears on some words.)_

 

_day forty, quantum abyss_

dear lance,

 

I hope you're okay. I dreamt about the team last night, we were all fighting. you got angry at me for leaving you.

I woke up crying.

I never wanted to leave you, okay? but I knew it was for the best.

please don't be mad at me. please be okay. I lov

 

_(The rest was unintelligible.)_

 

\---

 

 _“_ What is it like to be in love?” Keith asked her one day.

Krolia was taken aback by the suddenness of the question; it came out of nowhere, really. Often the two would discuss hunting plans, who was going to cook when, and rarely, discuss their past.

He looked at her expectantly, eyes curious with a hint of fear within them. Was he scared of the idea? Did he think he was going to be hurt again? ( _Did he trust her enough to ask for advice now?_ )

“It's… exhausting.” Krolia croaked after a while, eyes cast to her feet. The memories of her husband ran through her head, flickering and wavering as though it were a vintage film. “But it's so very, very rewarding.”

Keith frowned at this, seemingly conflicted. Krolia wished she could help him.

“Do you regret it?” he asked eventually, biting his lip now.

A warm, bittersweet smile crossed Krolia’s face then as she shook her head slightly, sighing. “I would never regret falling in love with your father.” She paused, smile falling. “I regret leaving him, leaving you. Even if it was to protect you both.”

Keith nodded, wrapping his arms around himself and avoiding her gaze. Something was eating at him, she could tell. She couldn't, however, tell exactly _what_ it was that had his conscious preoccupied. It frustrated her.

“I never got to tell him I loved him before I went, you know.” She started, closing her eyes and lifting her head up slightly; tears wouldn't threaten to fall then. “Don't… don't make the same mistake I did Keith. Let people know you love them before you have no chance to.”

Silence fell over the two then, the crackling of the fire the only thing that filled in the quiet.

Keith shifted slightly, moving to rest a hand on his wolf’s head before looking up at Krolia. “How do you know you're in love?”

She smiled then, a gentle, loving smile, before answering with a soft “You can't imagine your future without them.”

Keith hummed in response, the ghost of a smile on his face. “I don't think I could ever live without him.” he whispered to himself.

Krolia really shouldn't have heard it; it was quiet, soft and something personal. Yet she did, and for some reason, she smiled. She hoped Keith would be happy with whoever had taken his heart.

 

\---

 

_day fifty, quantum abyss_

lance,

 

I talked to krolia about pop and her a few days ago. it was sad, and she was sad, but she told me that she doesn’t regret a thing, even after she's hurting.

I don't quite get why she still thinks that falling in love was something not to regret, even after she admitted that it was exhausting and filled with pain. is it really worth it?

she… also said that you know you're in love when you can't imagine your future without them. kinda ironic, considering we're seeing our future right now.

but it made me realise something.

maybe one day I'll tell you what it is. if you still want to talk to me.

I need to feed my wolf, so I should leave it at that.

 

_keith_

 

(p.s. he still hasn't told me his name yet. I wonder when he'll decide on it.)

 

\---

 

“Who are you writing to?” Krolia asked one day, sitting down next to her son with cautioned ease. She craned her neck, trying to get a small peek of the block of handwriting, but was ultimately defeated once Keith quickly flipped the bark over.

“No one.” He answered, curt and ignoring the blush slowly blooming against his face.

Krolia lifted an eyebrow, thoroughly unimpressed with the answer given. She wanted to know more about her son’s friends, about the ‘Lance’ Keith had addressed the crumpled up letter to. She just wanted to know more about Keith, wanted to be part of his life again.

“Is it Lance?” she asked after a while, watching Keith’s head snap up so quickly Krolia was sure he would get whiplash. That seemed like the answer she needed.

“How do you know who Lance is?” he hissed, oddly defensive about the matter. If Krolia wasn't trying to pry more information from her son, she would have smirked knowingly.

“You seem to forget we both see the past and future.” she deadpanned, face seamlessly apathetic. Sure wasn't lying, really; she had seen Lance in Keith's past, just as she had seen Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Coran and Shiro. It was just… hard to remember who was who and how Keith felt about and interacted with them.

Keith sighed then, defensive and tense shoulders dropping. There must be nothing more to hide. “I don't know why I started writing to him.”

Krolia smiled to herself, placing a gentle hand on Keith's shoulder. “Sometimes you don't need to know; your heart just tells you.”

Rolling his eyes in response, Keith pocketed the note, getting up and walking to the entrance of the cave, whispering something under his breath.

“I'm going to get some food.” He mumbled, jerking his head to the wolf, who followed dutifully.

“Be safe, Keith.” Krolia responded, sighing softly.

 

\---

 

_day seventy one, quantum abyss_

dear lance,

 

you know how I said I was confused about love? I don't think I am anymore.

 

_keith_

 

\---

 

_day seventy five, quantum abyss_

dear lance,

 

I'm in love with you.

I know I am.

I denied it for so long, thinking I just wanted to be your friend, but after talking to ~~krolia~~ mum and after seeing you in the future, I think I'm ready to accept it.

it's scary though. so scary. crushes are easy to deal with, but love? I don't like it. there's so much at stake, but I think we have a chance. maybe.

maybe one day we'll be together. we'll be married. adopt kids. buy a house. maybe I'll wake up to you next to me, promising me you love me too and will never leave me and you don't ever regret anything and we'll kiss and your lips would be so soft and I could take in your scent that always reminds me of home.

I'm crying now. my heart hurts. I want to hold you so bad and I now know why my heart aches every time I see you with allura.

I just want you lance. you'll always be my first choice. I hope… you can be my future.

 

 _love_ _keith_

 

\---

 

_day two hundred and ten,_

_quantum abyss_

my lance,

 

I saw you in my future again. we were on the beach, and you were grinning. I miss your smile.

you know, spending this time with my mum has really made me handle my emotions better. I don't bottle them up as much anymore and I guess that’s why I willingly wrote how much I loved you.

I’ve been thinking about trying to pinpoint when exactly I fell in love with you. I think it was when you gave me that soft smile and held my hand after the fight with sendak. you know, the bonding moment. it made me really sad that you denied it, but I understand why you did that now. it's hard to accept feelings for someone, especially after you thought you hated them. I don't hold that against you anymore.

I think I really, really fell in love with you when we were on that planet after lotor lured us into it and I was selfish. you drifted towards me in red and really made me think about my actions. and… it was tender. it was sacred. you held so much hope in me and I still don't know why. I'd like to think it's because you feel the same way but haven't thought about it. it's probably not true but… I can wish.

I hope you're okay. I miss the sound of your voice oddly enough. it was annoying but in an endearing way.

~~sometimes before I go to bed I imagine you running through my fingers through my hair and kissing my forehead and telling me you'll never leave me while you cuddle me in bed. it's a fantasy of mine and I know it will never come true but it makes me so happy so very happy.~~

you know I'd never leave you again okay? this was a big mistake in a way, but it's helped me a lot. it's shown me that I'm still loved and it's made me mature. I hope I'm enough for you now.

I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you lately by the way. I ran out of ink and paper bark thing and it took a while to find a tree with bark still on it but anything for you. I'll run out again soon but know that you're always on my mind.

I think mum may know too, but I haven't told her. maybe she read my letters while I was asleep. I don't know. maybe I should tell her. what would you do?

 

_love, keith_

 

\---

 

The next time Krolia caught her son writing letters, she noted that there was something different about his presence. His smile was fond, his body devoid of stress and often he would stop to close his eyes and smile softly.

It was very much so a jarring change in his quiet, brooding demeanor and Krolia was sure that she wasn't meant to see this side of her son. _No one_ was meant to see this side of her son.

She decided to sit beside him anyway, quite confused (yet rather pleased) when Keith didn't ultimately jerk away in a startled fashion as he usually did. Was Keith possibly taking something that calmed him to the point where all of his defenses were down? It was so very out of character for him, hence why Krolia was becoming quite unnerved by the silence as Keith wrote on.

“Are you feeling okay?” Krolia asked after a while, brows knit in confusion and worry. It provoked a startled jump on Keith's end which seemed to reassure Krolia that not all of his sense of danger was lost.

A frown was cast over Keith's face as he pushed the paper away from Krolia’s prying eyes.

“Of course I'm okay.” he scoffed, “Just... thinking.”

Humming in response, Krolia turned to Keith with a small smile. “You can confide in me, Keith. I am your mother, after all.”

There was a small nod before Keith exhaled loudly, shoulders dropping. “I think I'm in love.”

Of course, Krolia already knew that from the last heart-to-heart they had, but it still stunned her nonetheless. She hadn't been there to support her son, whom she adored with all her heart, whilst he went through the struggles of finding and accepting the emotions that love had brought upon him. It devastated her.

But, she supposed, at least he was now opening up to her. It quelled her guilt, even if it was for a moment.

She placed a cautious, comforting hand on Keith's shoulder and looked off into the distance, where the wolf was busy trying to snap at the tiny bugs that liked to fly around.

“Is it Lance?” she asked after a while. Keith seemed to have a fond spot for the blue paladin, after all. That, and the letter she had found, though torn and ruined, was addressed to him. It wasn't hard to guess who the rest of the letters were to.

Keith hesitated before mumbling a soft ‘yes’, eyes not leaving the ground below them. Krolia stayed silent, hoping it would urge Keith to continue on. He did.

“He… he really is-” pausing, Keith furrowed his brows, searching for words. “-he’s just perfect. In his own little way.”

Another pause. “I want to grow old with him by my side.”

Krolia smiled; it sounded like he had finally found his soulmate. She couldn't be happier for her son.

“Tell me about him.”

 

And so he did.

 

\---

 

_day two hundred and forty three,_

_quantum abyss_

 

my sunshine,

 

is it okay if I call you that? you really are my sunshine. you bring so much light in my life and I could never ever survive without you.

you may be the more romantic out of the two of us but I will try my hardest to make you feel as loved as you make others feel.

 

the more I see you in my future visions the more I fall in love with you. I didn't think it was possible but I guess it is.

this time you were holding my hand again. we were on earth, on a rooftop somewhere. you looked really sad and went to say something but I never heard what it was.

 

~~I hope I didn't make you sad.~~

 

I told mum about you. she just smiled with that knowing look - you know, the one that looks like they have all the knowledge in the world and they know something you don't.

it made me angry at first but it's okay. she knows a lot more than me anyway, since she's seen so much.

anyway, she seemed happy about it. she said she thought it was sweet and that we were soulmates. I don't think we are, but it would be nice.

 

wolf still hasn't decided on a name. I kinda want to name him after you, but that would be stupid. maybe leandro?

no, wolf will tell me his name. I shouldn't choose for him.

(he says hi by the way. he put his snout to the paper and sniffed, kinda grunted. it could be something else, but I'm thinking it was a hello.)

 

_love you,_

_keith_

 

\---

 

_day three hundred and ninety nine,_

_quantum abyss_

dear lance,

 

sorry for not writing much again. mum used up all the bark paper again.

today I had another future vision. it… wasn't nice. you told me that “maybe you should have just stayed away”. it worries me because I thought you'd never say that, but… after I left I guess I don't really know any more.

you all must have changed so much. pidge may have grown taller and maybe hunk got better at cooking (if that's even possible). you probably are being chummy with allura. I hope shiro and coran are well.

nothing will ever be the same, will it? I miss you all so much. I just want to get off this fucking thing and go back to you guys. you were my family you know? and you made me a better person. specifically you, lance. you made me want to be a better person.

you really are were my stability. one of the only stable things in my life. thank you for staying by my side.

I hope you will still do so when I get back.

 

_all my love, keith_

 

\---

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ive lost count of the days_

lance

 

i dont know what to say. i think this is the universes cruel way of telling me it will never ever work out.

i saw you today. in the future. you were with allura. you kissed her. you were so happy. i think i saw a ring on your hand but i cant be sure.

~~why cant i ever make you that happy~~

i cried myself to sleep last night. and the night before. i hate it. i hate that as soon as i realise how much i love you, how much you mean to me, i see that we never stood a chance. i never stood a chance.

i dont care what happens anymore. its been a year and a half since we've been on this whale thing. i kept seeing you in my future and you were happy with me and now i see this. you were so much happier with allura.

i love you lance. so much. and… i know why mum said to me she doesnt regret falling in love i dont regret it either but it hurts so bad.

i wanted to make you happy. i thought i was destined to be with you.

i hate you.

 

i guess this is goodbye to whatever hope i ever had and to you - to us.  ~~there never was an us anyway~~

dont count on me being nice again. its time to let you go.

ill stop writing to you now. it hurts too much

 

_keith._

 

 _\---_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_earth, I'm leaving tomorrow_

lance,

 

i lied. i dont hate you. i would never hate you.

im sorry i’ll always love you.

all i ever wanted was an eternity with you.

im sorry for everything and for being so mean. i guess i just wanted to push you away so it would hurt less. in the end i just hurt you. im so sorry i never ever wanted to hurt you.

one night i heard you sob. it shattered me. it was the worst thing ive ever heard and i never want you to be in that much pain ever again. i wish i couldve wiped your tears and told you i love you. you deserve so much. im sorry i made you cry. i love you.

god i really love you so fucking much. i thought distancing myself from you would help me stop hurting. it never did. it only made things worse.  ~~no wonder you loved allura she would never do that to you~~

acxa will never ever replace you in my heart. ill never love her as much as i love you. shes… temporary. i dont love her.

_i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. youre the only one i want. i love you and only you._

this is goodbye for good. im sorry

 

_the new galra emperor,_

_keith_

 

\---

 

Lance never really meant to find anything when cleaning out Keith's quarters after he left for space. It was a simple spring clean; dusting and wiping over the surfaces for the next person to reside in the Garrison’s accommodation.

It hurt though, seeing the empty space. There was nothing left, nothing that Keith wanted to stay on Earth. Lance guessed it was his way of letting go.

It upset him, really, to think that the very race they were fighting against before had stolen their teammate - their _friend_ \- and made him emperor.

( _He decided to go. This is what he wanted,_ his mind kept telling him, but it never made anything better.)

As he opened the small cupboard designed for clothes, he spotted a small cardboard box. It hid in the far corner, almost inconspicuous, but it called out to Lance. He needed to get it, needed to see if Keith had left anything to tie him to Earth.

Reaching into the surprisingly deep cupboard, he pulled the box out, knuckles white as he gripped it. At least he would have _something_ to remind him of Keith.

Sitting on the sheetless bed, Lance carefully removed the top of the box, rather surprised to see a bundle of paper-like bark. Was it like a diary? Notes to self?

Carefully lifting one piece out, Lance flipped it around, surprised to see his own name at the top of the note. Letters, then, probably to all the paladins.

It wouldn't hurt to read them, right?

 

\---

 

_It did hurt._

 

_\---_

 

my dearest Keith,

 

god where do I start? I read all your letters. they broke me, they really did. you loved me so much and you were willing to do anything for me and I lead you on. you know I do love you too. I'm sorry I never told you. but I love Allura too. I'm sorry, you deserve so much better.

~~I wish I~~

~~you are~~

seeing you with Acxa hurt a lot, but I guess you felt so much worse seeing me with Allura huh? I'm so sorry Keith, I'm so sorry. you deserve all the love in the world and I can't give it to you, not any more at least. you're gone now.

I never wanted you to leave; it's left such a gaping hole in my heart. like… someone took a puzzle piece away from an almost complete puzzle and threw it away. this time it's gone for good.

I cried so much when you said you wanted an eternity with me. that all you wanted was to raise a family with me. I hope Acxa at least gives you that. or whoever you end up with. (you know, I think you'd make an amazing dad.)

I want you to know that you did make me happy, so very happy, when you actually treated me as an equal. I always was in your shadow and it hurt that you were always better than me. but I realised that it’s because you really are so phenomenal. I never could have compared, never could have ever reached your standard.

you know, i think we were meant to be soulmates. but the universe had other plans. what sick bastard is pulling the strings? its unfair.

I don't think I'll ever get over you, Keith. you were such a big part in my life. I wish I could've told you that before, on the rooftop. I wish I had convinced you to stay.

I feel empty now, kinda numb. sorry for saying all that awful stuff to you, I never meant it. you really are the best person I've ever met.

I keep thinking about Slav’s whole alternative reality belief. I'm kinda hoping he's right. in another reality, we could be together.

in another reality, we’ll raise a family together and get married and do all that stuff you wanted. I always wanted it too. I'd take you to the beach and our kids would play in the water as we sit back at watch the sunset. or maybe that could be our first date. I don't know.

you said you wanted an eternity with me, right? well, I promise you, I'll wait an eternity for you. we'll be together one day, Keith, and I'll shower you in the love you deserve.

_I guess this is goodbye_

_-Lance_

**Author's Note:**

> honestly I cried so much writing & reading this. it does, however, serve as a catharsis for me in a way; s7 fucked me up lmao.
> 
> keith obvs was whipped for lance n there's no doubting it so HAH canon this is my town now. eat my ass hetron.
> 
> kudos & comments feed my family
> 
> abuse me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/vogelbiene?s=09)


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